AI Just Beat the CAPTCHA. We're Doomed 🤖🚨

Biz Analyst Club Newsletter

by The Business Model Analyst

Hello, Biz Enthusiasts!
This week, AI passed the “I’m not a robot” test, Figma pulled a 158% IPO flex, and Meta’s smart glasses are actually selling. Meanwhile, grocery store prices now change faster than a crypto chart, and AI engineers are getting NBA-style salaries (minus the sneakers).
You’re not dreaming. This is real. The future’s weird, chaotic, and full of 💰 — so let’s get into it.

Hot Takes 🚀

1. ChatGPT Passed the “I’m Not a Robot” Test. Uh-oh. 🤖🫣
OpenAI’s new agent version of ChatGPT just beat Cloudflare’s anti-bot CAPTCHA test. It literally clicked the “I am not a robot” box — and passed. If bots can pretend to be humans better than actual humans on the internet… well, we had a good run.
👉 See the screenshot that broke the internet

2. Figma's IPO Just Went Nuclear — Up 158% 🚀💻
Design software darling Figma went public and instantly hit a $50B valuation, blowing past its abandoned Adobe deal. Investors starving for fresh tech IPOs just feasted — and this could signal a comeback for high-growth listings.
👉 Why Figma’s debut has Wall Street buzzing

3. GenAI App Revenue Doubled. So Did Screen Time. 📱💸
GenAI apps racked up 1.7B downloads and $1.87B in revenue in just six months. Oh, and we spent 15.6 billion hours using them. That’s… unsettling. At this point, your screen time app deserves hazard pay.
👉 See the mind-blowing growth numbers

4. Ray-Ban Meta Glasses Are a Hit. For Real. 😎📷
Remember when smart glasses flopped? Not anymore. Meta’s Ray-Ban collab just tripled revenue YoY, and they’re launching Oakley and Prada versions next. You might actually want to wear your next gadget on your face.
👉 How Meta quietly won the wearable war

5. AI Researchers Are Now NBA Players (Salary-Wise). 🧠💰
A 24-year-old AI researcher just scored a $250M deal from Meta. That’s not a typo. AI engineers are being courted like LeBron, complete with entourages and bidding wars. We’re calling it: Codeball is the new basketball.
👉 Inside the wild world of AI talent wars

Sponsored Spotlight

Quick Hits 📰

• Condo Market Crashes (Quietly): Prices are falling, supply’s up, and sellers are desperate. It's the worst condo market since 2012.
  👉 4 charts that tell the story

• ChatGPT’s New Study Mode: It won’t just do your homework — it’ll teach you how. Finally, a tutor who doesn’t cancel last minute.
  👉 Meet your new AI study buddy

• Grocery Prices Change 100x/Day: Digital price tags are here. Surge pricing for eggs? Yep, that’s the vibe.
  👉 Welcome to the future of grocery shopping

• GLP-1 Drugs: From Weight Loss to Everything Else: Ozempic might help with Alzheimer’s and addiction too. But the costs are wild.
  👉 The drug that could do it all — maybe

• Amazon Funds DIY AI TV Platform: A new AI streamer lets you make your own show — and earn royalties if others remix it. Netflix who?
  👉 Create your own animated sitcom

• Spotify Will Now Scan Your Face: Age verification is going biometric. Fail the scan? You could lose your account.
  👉 Spotify’s new policy is raising eyebrows

• Kendrick Lamar Launches Project 3 Agency: His creative collective just became a global brand studio. Expect big moves.
  👉 Inside Kendrick’s new venture

• Aston Martin F1 Team Worth $3.3B: They haven’t won a championship, but investors still want in. Netflix’s F1 bump lives on.
  👉 Why Aston Martin’s racing team is cashing out

• Millionaire Status? Kinda Meh Now: 1,000 new U.S. millionaires pop up daily — but many still shop with coupons.
  👉 The not-so-glamorous truth

• Instant Delivery Dreams Are Real (Sorta): Gopuff + Disney are making on-screen impulse buys happen in 15 minutes.
  👉 From TV screen to your door in record time

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