OpenAI Wants a TikTok Clone? 😳

Biz Analyst Club Newsletter

by The Business Model Analyst

Hello, Biz Enthusiasts!
Zuckerberg’s been in court for 13 hours defending Meta’s most expensive decisions — and apparently, calling WhatsApp’s founders “unambitious” was part of the strategy. Meanwhile, OpenAI might build a social network just to flex on Zuck and Musk, Google’s AI is now watching your screen like it’s an episode of Black Mirror, and Netflix wants to become your next podcast host. Somewhere in the middle of all this, humanoid robots ran a marathon — and most of them didn’t survive. Let’s dive into the weird and wonderful world of business this week. 🚀

Hot Takes 🚀

1. Zuckerberg Defends $19B WhatsApp Deal — “I’d Do It Again” 📱
At the FTC trial, Zuck spent 13 hours testifying that Instagram and WhatsApp weren’t bought to kill competition — but to improve them. He even called WhatsApp’s founders “unambitious” and said he pushed them to add features like Stories. Translation? He didn’t just acquire apps… he gave them a personality transplant.
👉 Inside Zuck’s courtroom defense of Meta’s biggest buys

2. OpenAI Might Launch a Social Media Platform. No, Seriously.
Because what the world definitely needs is another place to overshare. Insiders say OpenAI is toying with launching a social network—likely infused with generative AI tricks. Altman vs. Musk vs. Zuck? Let’s get ready to ruuuuumble.
👉 OpenAI's weird new plan: become the next TikTok?

3. Google’s Gemini Can Now See Your Screen – For Free 👀📲
Google was going to charge $20/month to let Gemini look at your phone and respond in real-time. But after internet buzz, they’re giving it away. Helpful or horrifying? Depends on whether you’ve been doomscrolling or shopping for Crocs.
👉 Gemini’s real-time screen-reading feature just went free

4. Netflix Might Stream Podcasts Next. Podflix? Netcast? 🎧
Netflix’s co-CEO hinted that video podcasts could be coming to the platform. Creators and podcasters, this might be your chance to land next to Bridgerton. Or get canceled in 3 episodes.
👉 Why Netflix is eyeing podcasts like a hawk

5. xAI’s Grok Gets “Memory” Feature – Finally Catches Up to ChatGPT 🧠
Elon Musk’s chatbot Grok now remembers past convos, making it feel a little more human… and maybe a bit more clingy. The memory can be deleted, which is nice — unless Grok also remembers your terrible startup idea.
👉 Grok gets a memory. What could possibly go wrong?

Quick Hits 📰

• Capital One + Discover Merger Approved: The $35B mega-deal is moving forward. More credit cards for everyone!
  👉 Merger details here

• Figma Files for IPO (Quietly): After the Adobe deal flop, Figma’s ready to go public on its own.
  👉 Figma’s public debut is back on

• AI Bot Invents Policy, Sparks Rage: A support chatbot made up a fake rule. Users lost it.
  👉 Cursor AI’s hallucination goes viral

• Tea Wars Begin: Chagee’s IPO Pops 15% 🍵📈
  The Chinese tea chain made a splashy Nasdaq debut and is eyeing U.S. expansion. Starbucks, your move.
  👉 See how Chagee plans to go global

• AI College Student Attends Classes in Vienna: An AI named Flynn got accepted to art school and is turning in homework.
  👉 Meet Flynn, the AI art student

• Google Loses Major Ad Tech Lawsuit: Big win for the open web. Big “oops” for Google.
  👉 Court slams Google’s ad dominance

• Kodiak Self-Driving Trucks Going Public: A $2.5B SPAC deal aims to automate long-haul trucking.
  👉 Kodiak hits Wall Street

• New Allergy Shot Could Fix Everything: A single injection might stop all allergic reactions.
  👉 The future of allergy treatment is here

• Strava Buys Runna: Two fitness app favorites are now one.
  👉 Runners, rejoice!

• Marketers Handing Campaigns Over to AI: AI is now pitching, creating, and approving your ads.
  👉 Marketing’s robot future is here

The Business Plan Every Pro Uses

That’s a Wrap! Feeling smarter? Intrigued? Slightly creeped out by your AI assistant remembering your favorite burrito order? Same. Stay curious, stay caffeinated — and don’t forget to say “please” to your chatbots (it costs millions, apparently). 💸🤖

💬 What Do You Think?

👀Which story caught your eye today? Hit reply and share your thoughts!

📩 Know someone who would love this? Forward it their way - they’ll thank you later!